


A Tragedy Starting to Happen

by Woldy



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Infidelity, M/M, Public Sex, Weddings, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-10
Updated: 2010-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-06 02:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woldy/pseuds/Woldy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James couldn’t deny the significance of giving Sirius a blowjob. There was far too much history between them for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tragedy Starting to Happen

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://twilightsorcery.livejournal.com/profile)[**twilightsorcery**](http://twilightsorcery.livejournal.com/) for the [](http://community.livejournal.com/hp_yule_balls/profile)[**hp_yule_balls**](http://community.livejournal.com/hp_yule_balls/) exchange. Thanks to my beta [](http://cursedinsanity.livejournal.com/profile)[**cursedinsanity**](http://cursedinsanity.livejournal.com/) &amp; to the mods for all their hard work.

James took a sharp drag on the cigarette, and it flared, one more light against the London skyline. Say what you might about the Witches Tit - and people did, earning it the reputation as the most disreputable bar in the city - the balcony had a spectacular view.

Beyond the traffic and neon lights of the city centre, out where over-crowded terraces eased into leafy suburbs, was the house he shared with Lily. They were getting married in two months.

There was no doubt about it; he was fucked.

James exhaled, watching the smoke dissipate into the cold air. Of all the things to do, of all the stupid bloody mistakes -

The door banged open and a figure was briefly silhouetted before it slammed shut behind him.

“Still sulking, then?” Sirius asked, and James looked away.

“This your own fault,” said Sirius, strolling over to lean on the balcony rail beside him. “You know better than to raise the stakes on a hand like that. Owing me a blowjob instead of a hundred galleons is a good deal. You should be flattered.”

“I’ll get you the money.”

“I don’t want the money. That wasn’t your stake. We agreed on a prank of my choice, nothing illegal, nothing dangerous. I’ve chosen.”

James took another drag on the cigarette, filling his lungs. Smoking was one of the luxuries that Death Eaters and this gradual slide into war couldn’t take away. Usually, it was an escape, a way of not dealing with the world for a few moments, but it wasn’t working tonight.

“Nothing you haven’t done before, right?”

“It’s not the same now,” James said tightly.

“Funny you didn’t think of that earlier. Betting everything on a hand like that, well... A fellow could be forgiven for thinking you wanted this.”

“I don’t, all right? Things are serious with Lil, we’re not kids any more. I’m not going to screw it up. ”

“This won’t screw anything up. We’re just joking around.”

That lofty dismissal was quintessentially Sirius. Even when he’d arrived on James’ doorstep, wet hair plastered to his face, so young and so desperate to be independent that it almost hurt to look at him, Sirius insisted that his family didn’t matter.

“Bastards, the lot of them,” Sirius had said, grabbing the handle of the trunk to pull it inside. “I don’t care what they think.”

“Of course you don’t,” James replied, not pointing out that Sirius’ hands were shaking too much for him to hold a wand. He’d taken the other handle of the trunk.

Yeah, Sirius could deny things all he liked, but James knew better than to believe him.

“Shouldn’t you be sowing your oats, anyway, before you’re married?” Sirius asked, his voice light, and James spun round to face him.

“Don’t you get it? If Lily found out she’d... Fuck, I don’t know what she’d do, but I don’t want to risk it. Let me give you the money.”

There was a moment’s silence as they stared at one another.

“Don’t, then, if the idea’s got your knickers in such a twist,” Sirius said, in a tone of studied indifference. “If you’d rather explain to her why you’re late on the rent then that’s your call. I was just trying to make it easier on you.”

Sirius leaned in, close enough to feel his body heat, and for a moment James thought he was going to start something here, in full view of the alley below. His pulse raced, body tensed for the contact, but instead Sirius snagged the cigarette from James’ hand.

Sirius tilted his head and inhaled. For all that he’d walked out on the Blacks, Sirius still had the casual arrogance of an aristocrat: chin held high as he smoked the fag he’d shamelessly nicked. James watched the way Sirius’ lip wrapped around the cigarette, a hint of stubble on his jaw - Circe’s cunt, the last thing he needed was to be caught staring.

“If this is a problem for you then I’ll let it go,” Sirius said, blowing out a stream of smoke. “But the James Potter I knew would never renege on a bet. Didn’t you used to say that the risk was what made it fun?”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. Sirius knew precisely how to twist things, and here he was making it sound as though James had been the one to start this, instead of being set up. As far as James was concerned, the first hint of anything sexual was when Sirius flipped over the final card and said, “You owe me a blowjob, but it can wait. I like the idea of messing up those wedding robes.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at him and blew a smoke ring. _ If you’re really a Marauder _ his expression seemed to say, _ you’ll do this. _

James reclaimed his cigarette and took a deep, final drag.

“Fine,” he said, flicking the fag over the railing and watching the light fade as it fell. “I’ll do it. You’re right, it doesn’t mean anything.”

If he kept telling himself that, maybe he’d start to believe it.

\---------------------------------

The problem, was that everything between him and Sirius meant something. They’d been best mates since James was old enough to have a wand, and he knew Sirius better than anyone, far better than he knew Lily. There’s also the fact that they used to jerk each other off.

At the time, it wasn’t a big deal. Sirius had always been handsome, with those high cheekbones and athletic grace, and wanking together over Sirius’ porn mag hadn’t seemed that different from the nights when someone forgot a silencing charm. Somehow watching had turned to touching.

At sixteen, the feeling of Sirius’ hand on his cock had been a revelation, and after that they’d rubbed desperately together on James’ bed and pressed up against the tiles of the Gryffindor showers, hands slick. It was just one of those things they did, up until the incident between Snape and Remus.

By the time James returned to the dormitory that night his fear had settled into a cold fury. He stormed up to Sirius’ bed and threw the curtains wide, to find Sirius with his knees hugged to his chest, face pale and his knuckles white.

“Remus,” Sirius said, “Is he -”

“Snape saw. Remus nearly bit him and I - I stopped it.”

James focused on Sirius’ face, wanting him to understand the seriousness of what he’d done and just how close he’d come to killing someone. The air between them felt taught as a wire, but although Sirius’ jaw muscles clenched, he didn’t speak.

“You need to speak to Dumbledore in the morning,” James said, turning away.

He’d hesitated for a moment, caught between his loyalty to Remus - who was blameless - and to Sirius, who has done _this_. “Merlin knows how you’ll make it up to Remus.”

No, James couldn’t deny the significance of giving Sirius a blowjob. There was far too much history between them for that.

He hadn’t thought about Sirius in an erotic way for years, but now those thoughts wouldn’t stop. James remembered the arch of Sirius’ body beneath his fingers, and his imagination filled in the extra details: Sirius grinding against him, his hands clutching James’ hair, the taste when Sirius came in his mouth.

Every time he had to organize some minor, stupid thing for the wedding, like ordering cutlery or choosing the decoration on the cake, James thought of Sirius.

“What’s got you so distracted?” Lily asked, jolting him out of his thoughts.

James thought of Dumbledore’s warning that they had to be honest with one another because You-Know-Who would use lies and suspicion to divide. All the relationships in his life were founded on trust, so being unfaithful to Lily - cheating on their _wedding day_ \- seemed like a tragedy starting to happen.

“Nothing, sorry,” James said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “I’m just a bit tired.”

He’d only lied to her once before, to protect Remus, and lying now made him feel sick.

\--------------------------

Despite James’ hopes, as the wedding date approached, Sirius didn’t change his mind.

His memories of his stag night were blurry, but James was sure it involved a terrifying amount of alcohol, the almost-equally terrifying sight of Fabian Prewett in charmed boobs and fishnet stockings, a lot of singing and obscene jokes. Somehow, amongst that, he recalled the sight of Sirius’ dark eyes glittering with intent and - fuck, he might as well admit it - desire. There was no escaping it: every day closer to the wedding was a day closer to sucking off Sirius.

James considered himself pretty good at keeping secrets: he was the planner of a thousand pranks, the owner of an invisibility cloak, and he’d never told a soul about Remus’ furry little problem or their animagus transformations. But this deal with Sirius wasn’t just a secret; it was forcing him to lead a double life.

At home he was James Potter, the smitten fiance, but twice a week on Order missions he huddled under the cloak trying to resist the temptation of Sirius’ body pressed against him and Sirius’ breath hot on his neck. It was impossible to concentrate on surveillance with the jut of Sirius’ hip pressed into his arse.

“Getting flustered, Prongs?” Sirius murmured, his mouth barely an inch from James’ ear.

_Lily,_ James told himself, willing his erection to subside. _You don’t want this._

“Never mind,” breathed Sirius, trailing his finger across the back of James’ neck and bringing every nerve to tingling attention. “You haven’t got long to wait.”

Lily was his first and only love, the girl he dreamed about, and she was going to be his wife. Yet, he stood here, hard as a rock in a public street and fought to suppress the memory of Sirius’ hand around his cock. He loved Lily, but a tiny part of him still belonged to Sirius.

“Want me to take care of that?” Sirius asked, when their assignment ended. “Surely, you don’t want a hard-on when you return to the little wife?”

“I’m not hard,” James lied, and Sirius raised a sardonic eyebrow.

“Of course you’re not.”

The second Sirius Apparated away, James ducked into a deserted alley to jerk off. Then he returned home, to the softness and clean scent of Lily’s skin between the white sheets.

She woke as he undressed, and when James slipped into bed Lily nuzzled against his neck, hands sliding down his back towards his arse.

“Not tonight,” James said, shifting away. “The assignment was - I’m not...”

It wasn’t precisely a lie, but that didn’t help.

\-------------------------------------

The tradition that the bride and groom shouldn’t see each other on the morning of the wedding had never made much sense to James before. Now, as his stomach churned with nerves, he could see why you needed some space.

He pushed at the bathroom door, and it swung open to reveal Sirius standing in front of the mirror. Sirius’ reflection was handsome, cleanly-shaven and every hair in place, and James didn’t register that he was staring until Sirius gave him a dirty smile.

James looked away, feeling himself blush.

“Get a move on,” he said, “We need to go in a minute.”

“In a rush, Prongs?” Sirius asked, lightly, almost taunting, and reached out to brush his hand across the nape of James’ neck.

“Don’t,” James said, stepping away.

“You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”

“You’ll get what you’re owed,” James said shortly, “but we’ve got to get there first.”

He left the bathroom and returned to where the others were waiting by the fireplace.

“We’re due in five minutes,” Remus said, checking the clock. “Everybody got everything? Sirius, have you got the ring?”

“Course I’ve got it,” Sirius said, gesturing to the breast pocket of his robe.

“Merlin’s balls, this isn’t helping,” James muttered.

He peered at himself in the small mirror over the mantelpiece for a final examination: flat hair - check; robes buttoned - check; ugly carnation - check.

“Very smart,” the mirror said approvingly.

“Let’s go,” James said, grabbing a handful of floo powder, and tossing it into the flames. “Registrar’s Office, Ministry of Magic.”

The floo spat him out in the corridor beside a reception room, where a short-tempered looking witch in horn-rimmed glasses sat behind a desk.

“Potter. We’re scheduled for eleven a.m.”

“Room two,” the woman said, checking the parchment in front of her. “The bride for the last party was late so we’re running a few minutes behind. You’re all here, I hope?”

She gave him a stern look over her glasses, as though nervous grooms and late brides were something the world laid on purely to spite her.

“Yes,” James said, rubbing his palms nervously against his robes. “I mean, we will be. Definitely.”

The witch frowned at him. “I’ll call you when we’re ready. Take a seat.”

The Registrar’s Office was the only part of the Ministry which was busier at weekends, and another party was already waiting in the corridor. James saw a mixture of formal robes and Muggle clothes, the women in pastel suits and the men in black.

He took a seat at the end of a bench, between Remus and Peter.

“No one else here yet?”

“She’ll be here,” said Remus re-assuringly, although that wasn’t what James was worried about.

On the bench opposite, Sirius shifted in his seat, legs spreading wide so that the robes draped over the bulge of his crotch. James’ breath caught in his throat.

Fuck. They were going to do this. Today, he was going to suck Sirius off. If he did it now, before the ceremony, and then the rest of the day could still belong to Lily.

“They’re running late,” he said, aiming for a casual tone but hearing the squeak in his voice. “We’ve got at least fifteen minutes, I think, until anything happens. I might, er, just take a moment.”

He stood up, glancing around, and saw that the door was ajar at an office down the hallway.

“I’ll just be...” James said, gesturing in that direction. “If anyone needs me.”

“Are you all right?” Peter asked worriedly. “I can come with you.”

“I’m fine,” replied James, aware that he didn’t sound fine. “I just need a moment to- Yeah.”

He saw Peter and Remus share a concerned look, and let his gaze linger for a few moments on Sirius.

“See you in a minute,” James said, and walked away.

He pushed the door open to reveal a nondescript office containing a few ugly chairs and a desk, and leaned against the wall to wait.

As the seconds passed, fear built inside him. What if Sirius hadn’t taken the hint or wanted to wait until later? What if Sirius was wanted to torture him by having to imagine this all through the ceremony? - and then Sirius strolled through the door.

“Ready?” he asked, and James thought, you _bastard_, you planned this. Planned for me to be thinking about sucking you off instead of making vows to her, planned for this to upstage my wedding. Well, it’s not going to work.

“We don’t have to do this,” said James, in a final last-ditch effort. “You’re my best mate, Pads, you don’t need a prank to prove that. Nobody means more to me than you.”

Sirius’ eyes blazed. “She does,” he said, voice sharp as a razor, and James flinched.

“You must have known this would happen. People grow up, have families-”

Sirius recoiled at the word and James stopped, sucking in a breath.

In a way, Sirius was right. When he ran away from his family years ago, he’d gone to James and lived there until James started dating Lily, at which point Sirius had packed up his trunk and bought a flat. Ultimately, James had chosen to build his life with Lily and not with Sirius.

“Sirius...” he said, with no idea how to finish that sentence, and Sirius started forward, grabbing James’ robes in his fist.

“She gets to keep you,” Sirius snarled, as though he were spitting out shards of glass. “At least let me have this.”

James held Sirius’ eyes for a moment, and saw hurt amidst the reckless anger.

“Fine,” James said, looking away.

He raised his wand and spelled the door locked. It was just a standard charm, something a first year could deal with, but if James was quick then nobody would come looking for them.

James pushed Sirius back against the desk and undid the lower buttons of his robes, fingers brushing the swell of Sirius’ erection. Fuck.

He swallowed, not daring to look at Sirius’ face, and then slid his hand along the seam, tracing Sirius’ cock through the fabric. Sirius shuddered, and James repeated the motion, just a slow stroke of his fingers. He hadn’t done this in years and then there was nothing for him to compare it to, but apparently some things never changed: touching Sirius still turned him on.

James dropped to his knees and opened Sirius’ fly, pulling his cock free. For a moment he just stared, taking in the precome seeping from the slit and the musky scent, remembering how Sirius’ cock used to feel in his hand.

Then Sirius made an impatient noise and James licked the tip of his cock tentatively, lapping up the beads of precome. James curled his tongue around the head, tracing the ridge where the texture changed, and then sucked Sirius’ prick into his mouth.

It felt - odd. Everything James knew about blowjobs was based on receiving them from Lily, who gazed up at him through her fringe, eyes sultry under thick black eyelashes and - Merlin’s bollocks, he was _not_ thinking about Lily right now.

James lowered his head, sliding Sirius’ cock further into his mouth, and choked as it hits the back of his throat. He pulled back, wrapping his lips carefully around his teeth and tried again, but his glasses, which were already sliding down his nose, fell off one ear and dangled precariously.

When James looked up at Sirius, he saw the way his body was leaning against the battered desk for support, hands grasping the edge and his head tipped back.

James took off his glasses, placed them on the desk and closed his eyes to focus for a moment.

He could do this. It wasn’t advanced fucking potion making, it was just a blow job. Clumsy, drunken teenagers the world over managed to do this, so he, James Potter, should be capable of managing one competent blowjob before settling down for the rest of his life. This was, he thought suddenly, as the idea sent shivers of desire through him, the last time he was going to fuck anyone except Lily. And it wasn’t just anyone: it was Sirius.

Sirius’ thumb stroked along the line of his jaw and James opened his eyes.

Sirius was looking down at him, dark hair falling over his face, his pupils blown wide with desire, and all thoughts of Lily left James’ head in an instant.

He leaned forward, curled his hand around Sirius’ balls and gave a long, slow lick from base to tip. Sirius writhed, and this time when James sucked the head into his mouth, it didn’t feel awkward. He found the smooth glide of skin against skin, and sliding his mouth down and then up, before laving his tongue over the slit.

When James reached up to rub a finger over the nub of Sirius’ nipple - something he’d always loved, bucking and swearing under James’ hands - Sirius groaned and his hips snapped forwards, pushing deeper into James’ mouth.

James grabbed him, wrapping his fingers around the curve of Sirius’ pelvis, and pressed Sirius against the desk. When he pinched the nipple again, Sirius tried to buck and James shoved him back, muscles straining and his thumbs pressing bruises into Sirius’ skin.

Then it all became chaos: Sirius thrust, James’ forced him back against the desk in the effort to regain control, his fingers tight around Sirius’ hips and mouth sucking for all he was worth.

When Sirius came, it seemed to go on for ever - spurting over and over again into James’ mouth. Then, there was only silence, and James’ awareness of where they were returned in a rush.

Sirius sagged against the desk with his eyes closed. Slowly, James got to his feet.

He couldn’t think of anything to say. Sirius had come apart in his hands, under his mouth, and James knew that he couldn’t piece Sirius back together.

After several long seconds, James straightened his robes, brushed the dust off his knees and muttered “_Alohomora_.” He walked out into the corridor and closed the door behind him.

A crowd of people had gathered outside the reception room at the far end of the corridor. James saw a swirl of robes and bright dresses, and in the centre of them was Lily, radiant in a long white gown, her red hair curling around her face. He pushed past their friends and family to her side, hurrying a little, and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

“You look absolutely beautiful.”

“We were wondering where you were,” she said lightly, without a trace of suspicion. “Not having second thoughts?”

“Course not,” James said, and she smiled at him, pink lips, freckled skin and beautiful green eyes. In only a few minutes, this gorgeous woman would be his wife. Nothing else that happened today mattered in comparison to that.

James curled his arm around her waist, and Lily leaned against him, her chin resting against his shoulder.

“I was just chatting with Sirius,” he said. “It’s not important.”


End file.
